feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
