I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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