You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
