Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize