Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
