i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
soo... how was my night?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
