that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
