How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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