I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Hippo gnu deer
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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