sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
