Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
