I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
