Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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