I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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