fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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