can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Just high enough for therapy.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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