i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
