Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
