Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
