Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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