69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
This is classic penis vs brain.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
