you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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