I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
