a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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