Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
