i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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