I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
