And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
