So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
