I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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