my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
