Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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