That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
