We're facebook friends in real life
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
