Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
You left your underwear on the fireplace
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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