dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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