Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
