well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
