Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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