Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize