I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
