I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize