Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
