how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
