Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
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