honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I wish you could order shots online.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
