someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
