I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
my shit smells like andre
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
