I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
