i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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