I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
