I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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