I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I just want nice things and good sex
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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