So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
