Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
