Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
