i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
