omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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