My friends, they love my intelligence
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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