wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
